Adults are told by newspapers and online services that they must not send insults and swearwords and sexually explicitly messages. Schools and parents and suppliers of phones used by children should be telling children the same thing. One day your message might be read by another member of your family, your future employer, a criminal court, or the whole world, as in this case.
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Why Leave Flowers?
Why leave flowers at the scene of death? In the old days when a body decayed flowers would mask the smell, distract from the scene, add a feeling of nature in control, remind of spring and summer and bring lively colour to the pallor or the dead. I understand those who say when somebody has died of cancer, please don't spend money sending flowers to the funeral, instead send money to a society researching and funding cancer relief and prevention.
But when the body has been moved, why waste money on flowers? Today, Feb 13, 2014, I read about a scene where a child in Australia had been killed by his father in front of a crowd of children. The text said that one parent was asking how to break the news to the other children at the school and sports teams. The picture showed a parent escorting a little girl who was crying a bunch of flowers.
Suddenly the reason clicked. Previously I thought it was better to keep children away from any reminder of a tragedy. Now I have the image of a see-saw in my mind. It's my favourite image to explain health. Phrases we use are redressing the balance. Keeping an even keel. Not over-reacting.
Another phrase is 'the last straw'.
How will the children and mourners be feeling? I imagine they will feel that they wished they could have taken action. Your reaction to danger is adrenalin, panic, urge to run. So they walk to the scene, using up their surplus burst of energy.
They want to give to the family (mother) and friends who have lost somebody. They want to give to replace what has been taken. One bunch of flowers is not much against a life. But the child and mourner feel they have done something. They have gone to the scene. (Albeit too late.)
They have met the next of kin or other mourners to offer condolences and support. They have redressed the sense of loneliness. They have brightened the scene. They have balanced the fear of the ill will with messages of goodwill. Something has been taken but they have given. The one act of evil has been balanced by many acts of goodwill.
The fear of the evil person has been balanced by the comfort of the many rushing to help. That is why the child is carrying the flowers and going to the scene. The child is seeing the other flowers and messages of support and comfort. The parent is going to help the other family, and to help their own child cope.
But when the body has been moved, why waste money on flowers? Today, Feb 13, 2014, I read about a scene where a child in Australia had been killed by his father in front of a crowd of children. The text said that one parent was asking how to break the news to the other children at the school and sports teams. The picture showed a parent escorting a little girl who was crying a bunch of flowers.
Suddenly the reason clicked. Previously I thought it was better to keep children away from any reminder of a tragedy. Now I have the image of a see-saw in my mind. It's my favourite image to explain health. Phrases we use are redressing the balance. Keeping an even keel. Not over-reacting.
Another phrase is 'the last straw'.
How will the children and mourners be feeling? I imagine they will feel that they wished they could have taken action. Your reaction to danger is adrenalin, panic, urge to run. So they walk to the scene, using up their surplus burst of energy.
They want to give to the family (mother) and friends who have lost somebody. They want to give to replace what has been taken. One bunch of flowers is not much against a life. But the child and mourner feel they have done something. They have gone to the scene. (Albeit too late.)
They have met the next of kin or other mourners to offer condolences and support. They have redressed the sense of loneliness. They have brightened the scene. They have balanced the fear of the ill will with messages of goodwill. Something has been taken but they have given. The one act of evil has been balanced by many acts of goodwill.
The fear of the evil person has been balanced by the comfort of the many rushing to help. That is why the child is carrying the flowers and going to the scene. The child is seeing the other flowers and messages of support and comfort. The parent is going to help the other family, and to help their own child cope.
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